


Reaching for Greatness

by flaming_muse



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt can’t hold back the news when Sam and Mercedes come home.</p>
<p>set within 5x18 (“The Back-Up Plan”), with no spoilers beyond</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reaching for Greatness

**Author's Note:**

> Per usual, my POV characters are limited and unreliable narrators.
> 
> Oh, _Blaine_...

“ - I _told_ her to be honest, but you know Rachel. She always - oh!” The sound of the front door opening makes Kurt pause in his story about Rachel’s _Funny Girl_ woes. He turns a bit on the couch in surprise, his head rising from where he was leaning it contentedly on the cushions in a comfortable, easy slump.

Blaine doesn’t mind the interruption too much, because the thought of Rachel throwing away her big chance on Broadway makes his stomach twist in uncomfortable knots on her behalf, although the pause in the story also seems to arrest Kurt’s fingers from where they’ve been stroking idly over his knee, and he was enjoying the gentle, soothing caress. He has knots in his stomach for more reasons than just Rachel, after all.

“We have pizza!” Sam announces loudly from the front hall of their apartment. “If you guys have your clothes on you can have some! And if not we’ll just, um, close our eyes for a minute or two.”

“We’re in here,” Blaine calls back with a laugh.

“And?” Sam asks. If Blaine leans a little, he can see Sam standing there with his eyes screwed shut.

“And we have our clothes on!” Kurt sinks back against his corner of the couch and rolls his eyes in amusement at Blaine as Sam and Mercedes head toward the kitchen without looking their way. “I find it a little weird that the person who takes off his shirt every two minutes without even being asked is the one complaining about nudity.”

“Well, he did live with us for a while,” Blaine says with a shrug, because he doesn’t really like to think about what exactly their friends might have overheard them doing. He’s not at all ashamed of how much he and Kurt like to express their love for each other, but the idea of unanticipated spectators to moments they thought were private makes him uncomfortable, like he’s been caught with spinach between his teeth... and now everyone around him knows exactly how much he really, really _loves_ spinach. “I think he saw and heard more than maybe he wanted to.”

“I gave him earplugs when he moved in,” Kurt replies, completely unabashed but maybe a little pink around the ears. “It’s not my fault if he didn’t use them.”

A rush of fondness flows through Blaine; he loves the way Kurt is so unapologetic about who he is and about who they are together. Kurt believes in himself and in them so strongly. It fills Blaine with such a calm, needed joy to see it, seeping in to all of the dry, worried cracks that always seem to creep through him when he’s not paying attention. “Kurt,” he laughs as that confident peace wells up in him, setting his heart at ease.

“Seriously,” Kurt says. “We’re engaged. What did he think we’d be doing in bed? Just sleeping? _Please._ ”

“You’d better hurry if you want some of this pepperoni!” Mercedes calls from the kitchen, and Kurt unfolds himself from the couch, tall and lean and beautiful, and offers Blaine a hand.

“Come on,” he says with a satisfied tip of his head and a warmth in his eyes Blaine feels like he could live in. “I know how much you love pepperoni pizza.”

Blaine smiles and follows after him, hand in hand. He _does_ love pepperoni pizza, and he loves that Kurt knows that. He loves that Kurt cares about him. He loves everything about Kurt.

June has to be wrong. He can see it right here, right now. This is special. This is a once-in-a-lifetime love. If she sees so much in Blaine and understands him so well, surely she’ll be able to see that, too. She has to.

“Wait, before we eat,” Kurt says as they join their friends in the kitchen, his hands coming up in a flutter to stop Sam from opening the pizza boxes resting on the counter. “You won’t believe what’s happening with Blaine!” He turns to Blaine, his face bright and open with excitement. “We can tell them, right? I mean, you can still keep the details secret, but the big news. You have to share it!”

Blaine’s stomach clenches up tight again, and it’s not in happiness. He’s absolutely thrilled about the show, of course. It feels like his big break. It could be the moment that really lets him live the dream and skyrockets him to success instead of trailing behind his friends. It’s huge and amazing to be given the chance to shine and to have someone so wise and experienced like June who believes he will. It’s like winning the lottery. Blaine cannot believe his luck. And it’s not just luck; he was _chosen_. Him. June saw him and chose _him_.

But there’s still the problem that June doesn’t want Kurt to be a part of it, and even though Blaine does and even though Kurt is _beyond_ excited about the opportunity, just the way Blaine wants, Blaine knows he hasn’t actually _gotten_ Kurt the opportunity yet. He can’t forget that.

The guilt grinds unhappily in his chest, but he tries not to show it. He will find a way. That’s all. He has to.

Blaine takes a quick breath as his friends all turn and wait for him to speak. “You know I’ve been spending time with June Dolloway?” he says. “Well, she wants to put on a one-night show to kind of introduce me to the world.”

“Isn’t that _great_?” Kurt says with a giddy bounce on his toes. “She wants to show him off to everyone!”

“Wow, Blaine! That’s incredible!” Mercedes exclaims as Sam comes over to engulf him in a hug.

“Dude!” Sam says, pounding on his back. “Awesome news!”

“Thanks, guys,” Blaine says, rocking with Sam’s pats. His own smile bursts out of him. He can’t help it. This news is really amazing. Rachel has _Funny Girl_ , Mercedes has her producer, Kurt has Isabelle and his many fans at NYADA, and now Blaine has June to take him under her wing and help him achieve his dreams, too.

It’s just exactly what he wanted.

Kurt leans into him, shoulder to shoulder. “I’m so proud of him,” he says, slipping his hand into the crook of Blaine’s elbow, and Blaine’s heart flips and soars again to hear him say it. “And you know what else? Blaine says I’m going to be in it, too! Isn’t that so sweet of him?”

And that’s where the smile freezes on Blaine’s face again, his blood turning to sharp shards of ice in his veins, because it’s not true. Or it _will_ be true, but it isn’t now. He loves that Kurt’s so happy, but he has to find a way to make it happen. He has to give this to Kurt, because Kurt has given so much to him, and he doesn’t want to pull ahead. It’s not right. It’s not fair. He wants them to be doing everything together.

He doesn’t even quite know why he told Kurt he had a role. It just slipped out, sitting there looking at Kurt and not wanting to hurt him. He had to say something. He had to give him something, too.

All Blaine knows is that he _can’t_ leave Kurt behind. Kurt has been so generous and supportive with him, and they’re supposed to be doing this together. He wants that happy smile that’s transforming Kurt’s face. He wants to take care of Kurt, provide for him. He needs to be able to do that, not just take the opportunity that Kurt wanted in the first place.

“Wow,” Mercedes says again. “That’s really huge. Congratulations to you both.”

“But we can’t ask him any questions about my part,” Kurt continues. “Because he says it’s a surprise.” The way he sways into Blaine is playful and fond, so full of love and happiness, everything Blaine ever wants from him and wants to give him. Blaine just wishes he deserved it.

But he will deserve it, he tells himself. He will. He will find a way to share this all with Kurt, because he’s not forgetting him. He’s not breaking up with him. He’s not going to rocket ahead of Kurt without pulling him along. That wouldn’t be fair. That wouldn’t be right. He knows how that hurts. It’s not what he wants at all.

He just barely nods to himself, determined. This is all going to turn out just the way he wants it to.

“Look at us making New York give us whatever we want!” Mercedes says, beaming at Blaine before she turns to get some plates from the cabinet.

“Yeah, and my Bubble ads are coming out so well they say they might go national!” Sam announces proudly.

“That’s great, baby,” Mercedes tells him.

Blaine’s heart leaps for his friend. He wants him to do well and be happy. He wants all of them to. And they are, even him now. They all are. As he stands here in this warm kitchen with these people he loves, he feels like he could burst with it. “That’s wonderful, Sam.”

“Yeah, I can probably get you more free samples if you want them,” Sam tells him.

“Thank you,” Blaine replies, because even though he’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually need to enhance his butt it’s so nice of Sam to offer.

“I can’t believe it!” Kurt says, happily hugging Blaine’s arm. “This is even better than I dreamed.” He waves his hand. “Not the underwear. The rest of it. Everything else that’s happening.”

Blaine smiles back, but it’s not easy. He _loves_ seeing Kurt this excited, and he loves that it’s because of him. He loves that it’s from something he can give him.

He just hasn’t actually done it yet, and knowing he’s an imposter drains much of the excitement right out of him as soon as it rises into his heart.

“Isn’t this turning out to be an incredible week?” Kurt asks him with the most beautiful smile on his face.

Nodding in reply, Blaine has to agree. It’s been a dream to get these opportunities. He just also knows he can’t let Kurt down. Blaine loves him. Kurt has been so kind about doing everything together. He’s been generous with his introductions, and he hasn’t minded that Blaine has been lagging behind his own rise to fame. Blaine can’t let him down now. He can’t get ahead of him. He needs to give Kurt the same opportunity he has.

He just doesn’t know quite how to do it, and that’s what makes him feel so uncomfortable. June was clear about not wanting Kurt to be a part of the showcase. She doesn’t want him in Blaine’s life at all, which is _crazy_ , because Kurt is the best part of Blaine’s life. Kurt is strong and talented and wonderful, and Blaine wants to do everything with him.

He and Kurt are supposed to be a partnership. They can’t be if they aren’t working together. So Blaine needs to make that happen.

And he can’t listen to the people who tell him he’d be better off on his own. That’s not possible. So June has this amazing life with lots of people who admire her and so many experiences to remember. That’s the life he wants, yes, but there has to be a way to have it with Kurt by his side.

Kurt leans into him again, squeezing his arm, before all but bouncing over to get a plate. He’s so radiant. He’s so full of excitement.

Blaine takes a plate from Kurt with a tight smile and can’t decide if he’s proud or anxious about having made him this happy, because now he needs to keep him that way. He wants to, of course he does, he feels like he’s finally done something right, but...

He thinks of June and her certain, strong vision for Blaine and who he is and will be. She’s older. Wiser. More experienced. He knows she knows more than he does.

It makes that worry twist in his gut, because she knows _so much_ more than he does. She sees things in Blaine he doesn’t even see. What if she’s actually right, a tiny, horrible whisper asks in the back of his head.

Her words echo in his skull, and he wishes he’d never heard them at all. He doesn’t want to have heard them. It feels like a betrayal even to have the idea of breaking up in his memory, as much as he rejects it.

“And here are two slices of pepperoni for you before Sam and Mercedes eat them all,” Kurt says, dropping them with a flourish and a grin on Blaine’s plate.

“Thanks, Kurt,” Blaine tells him, honest and truly grateful at how Kurt cares for him. The attention makes him feel warm and loved. The contented light in Kurt’s eyes makes him feel a hundred feet tall.

“You’re welcome,” Kurt says, and he leads the way to the table with an effervescent exuberance in his steps that makes Blaine’s heart flutter to see. He did that. _He_ put that there. He _can_ make Kurt happy, just like Kurt makes him happy right back.

Blaine follows behind him, a moth drawn to his bright flame.

He knows with utter certainty into his bones that _this_ is what he’s supposed to do: to contribute to their relationship, to share his own opportunities and not just take, to be full and equal partners. And finally he can.

No, June can’t be right. Blaine _needs_ to keep Kurt this happy, keep him at his side, give him everything he deserves, and make it all work.

Then everything will be just how it is supposed to be. He’ll rise to the top, so will Kurt, and it will be perfect.

Somehow.

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder: I am spoiler-free!


End file.
